| wow i havent written in this for so long |
[Apr. 21st, 2004|11:03 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  happy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | glassjaw-lovelines and razorbites | ] |
well, this week and the past few weeks have been absolutly terrible. i broke my nose on my dad'd birthday. i was supposed to go to a concert that night too, but no i had to get hit in the face with a softball. and let me tell you, they arent soft. i havent really talked to anyone lately, due to the fact that i dont go on AIM anymore. too many problems occur online so i chose to stay away from that. i am going to prom in may and im really excited. heres a poem i wrote in english today since i was really bored.
It's the way you look at me, its the way you stare, its the way you laugh at me, its the way you play with my hair, its the way you can make me smile even when im sad, its the way you can make me laugh even when im mad, there isnt one thing about you that i would ever change, we are perfect for eachother but people think its strange, just the way you look at me really melts my heart, i knew that i loved you from the very start, i hope we're together forever and i hope you feel the same too, because i dont think that i could survive in this world without you.
mah, not one of my best but just somthing i thought about today. |
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| another bad day |
[Feb. 2nd, 2004|11:18 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  confused | ] |
| [ | music |
| | none bc im in class | ] |
well yesterday was shitty...nothing went right...but o well what am i gonna do about it now...i have to accept the feeling of rejection.and now my xbf is comming back to me and asking for my forgiveness and that i should give him another chance...when...well thats just not a good idea. ive learned from my mistakes....IF ONLY SOME PEOPLE COULD SEE THAT. and welli just have to move on...and as for pat schultz....MOOO! haha thanx dead cow! i cant wait until wednesday bc we have a half day due to testing and that should b fun bc someone special :) wink wink haha is comming over i think and it should b kinky...haha i kid i kid it shall b fun though...i can guarentee u that much. haha well im going bc right now im in the middle of computer applications... |
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| waiting |
[Feb. 1st, 2004|09:41 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  anxious | ] |
| [ | music |
| | cursive-gentleman caller | ] |
today i hope will b a great day. i have to go to softball for four hours but i think it will b worth it in the long run bc if i play my cards right haha i get to see remy. and that would b really cool bc i love hanging out with him. im now free of a boyfriend since he was an asshole. i hate how on weekeneds i wake up so damn early, i really do. i went driving yesterday since i have my permit and it was alot of fun, i didnt crash into anything....LIKE SOME PEOPLE I KNOW....and i ddint hit a squirrel LIKE SOME PPL I KNOW! haha well yesterday i went driving around with dennis brian and greg. it was alot of fun, we went to record breakers with bo and kyle and bo bought so new vinals. then we went over to shannon wyss's house bc she wanted to HAVE BRIAN OVER...if u know wat i mean haha. well im going bye |
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| the best day of all... |
[Jan. 28th, 2004|03:33 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | anxious | ] |
| [ | music |
| | glassjaw-lovebites and razorlines | ] |
things have been pretty good for me latley. alot of things are going my way! im not moving, i am hanging out with an old friend today that i have missed dearly. school is not so good but i dont care at this point bc ill do alright when it comes time for the whole GPA thing. and well we have an assembly in school tomorrow so i miss two periods...and next wednesday we have half a day for PSAT testing or something. hopefully my "reunion" with my friend goes well....wish me luck.. |
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| nothing is what it seems |
[Jan. 22nd, 2004|05:56 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | and sad | ] |
| [ | music |
| | cursive-am i not yours? | ] |
well...today and yesterday were not all that great, since ive been back with brad ive been happy...exceot for today and yesterday. he told me he needed freedom and space bc he had none. which is weird to me bc i dont really take that much of his time. i see him once a week and i talk to him maybe if im lucky once a night. i just dont get it.i treat him so well and he treats me like shit. but w,e enough about that. the funny thing is that im gonna beat the shit out of this one girl jen! shes dead....god i hate her! w.e i dont care...so remy is buying womens pants right now...im sure he will look hot! he is comming over monday and we are gonan play pool...well im out |
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| things left unsaid |
[Jan. 7th, 2004|06:59 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  full | ] |
| [ | music |
| | modern life is war-clarity | ] |
well today was a pretty bad day becuase i was at the doctors all day,,,i was pretty sick when i woke up....and well as for my bf we broke up bc he said that he didnt want a gf and i mean i took it pretty hard but u know what...ill get over it. yeah so right now i happen to be watching the best show ever made....that 70's show! nothing has really been going on in my life....yesterday i went to the mall with remy and then at night al came over to watch a movie...it was alright...not great but alrifht...bc i still have feelings for gay brad. friday i am going to the ELI show it should b alot of fun. i havent heard them play in a while so lets hope i like it. well im going because i just finished eating oatmeal YUMMY...bye |
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| to slit your throat |
[Jan. 2nd, 2004|06:25 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  pissed off | ] |
| [ | music |
| | cradle of filth-no time to cry | ] |
man today is a shitty day...theres really nothing going on...i went by brads today and it wasnt wat i thoght it was gonna b...michelle called him and asked him if he wanted to do something and now he is hanging out with her and i really dont like it...bc i dont like her...actually i despise her...and ive tried being nice but theres just no way in hell im being nice to that wench...she tried to take brad from me last year and shes trying it again this year. so on new years was my two momth anniversary with brad...and ahh im so pissed right now i dont wanna talk about brad nor think about him bc hes with that whore. but i have to think positive...fluffy clouds....nice bunnies...fat squirrels...hmm thats not nice thats just weird..haha o well im messed up anyways but actually its fun bc im throwing things at my wall...and this one thing wont break...its quite intertaining watching it bounce off the wall...god im so weird. my mom is a bitch times like 200000 she just came in here and turned off the computer and now i had to start this all over again....rahh! man well im out bc im about to kill someone. PEACE |
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| spinning out of control |
[Dec. 31st, 2003|11:56 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  dirty | ] |
| [ | music |
| | hoobastank- out of control | ] |
things are crazy around here...everyone is trying to get ready for the 1st of the year which is gay bc i really dont care....the date change doesnt affect me at all...brad is being an ass again i asked him to call me and u know wat he said?? maybe and i said well why maybe and he said bc and i said bc why and he said bc i said so....and he was like i dont get any time to myself im like alright do whatever the fuck u want...tomorrow is our two month anniversary but its cool....dont call me. yeah im starting to call him less and less and im starting to care less bc he puts me through so much shit...w.e anyways haha so i spent the first few hrs of today playing jak II with my brother...which is 9 and hes a pervert...he calls me a condom. well i must go and help with all the preparations now...and man do i miss snogging. |
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| candycanes and penis's |
[Dec. 30th, 2003|07:23 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  contemplative | ] |
| [ | music |
| | hoobastank-to be with you | ] |
today...was a borring day...my grandma had left at four in the morning which woke me up and made me stay up. as for the rest of my day it was quite borring...nothing eventfull happened...as for brad and i there are some things i would like to fix...for one he does drugs and i mean its not the everyday thing...just the occasional thing but still it bothers me...i spent alot of time thinking about how i deal with him...and i was thinking im too good to him so im going to do something i should have done a long time ago...treat him the way he treats me...and i know that two wrongs dont make a right but i think that this will help brad see that what hes doing hurts me. i wrote a poem about all of this stuff...tell me what you think of it...
Wondering what i did wrong, was it something that i said? now im curled up all alone, thinking "whats going on in your head" were always fighting about the little stuff, and just when i think that ive had enough, you say those three words that just melt my heart, and make me want to go back to the start, "i love you" you whisper and everything seems right, but then just the next day you start another fight, ditching me, not calling, makeing me wonder where u are, the things that you have done now leave a perminant scar, i just want you to love me the way that i love you, but you say its too hard and that its just something you cant do, everything ive wished for, everything ive dreamed, all became a nightmare when you looked at me and screamed ..." this is more than i can handle, im tired of this shit, you act like my mother, i can never commit," you dont know how bad that hurt me, it really made me cry, but now your the one regretting it, wishing you could die, you had that girl that loved you but now shes gone away, wishing you could have her back, wishing there was something you could say, " i loved her but it was too late" you moan as you roll into your bed, as the saying " your the one curled up alone" runs inside my head..THE END!
well i hope that that made sence bc for once i think that i did a decent job.... |
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| the best day of my life |
[Dec. 27th, 2003|07:58 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  loved | ] |
| [ | music |
| | from autumn to ashes-autums monologue | ] |
hey! alright so today was a pretty busy day...i went to brads house and then we went out shopping with his sister,,,,i was with him all day and it was alot of fun ...and now im at my cousins house where everything is out of control and actually its quite funny because theres this little kid quin that is absolutly obsessed with peter pan....and then there is this kid trace that thinks hes black and is going out with a girl names raven that he doesnt even like...and he tries to play it off all cool...and as for christmas i got a guitar and clothes...dvds etc....well im out PEACE...o yea and my uncle is now the manager of a band called segway! |
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| another day |
[Dec. 20th, 2003|04:03 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  energetic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | children of bodom-touch like angel of death | ] |
hey! alright well yesterday sucked because i had the stomach flu...and i got yelled at by a friend of mine...well i thought he was my friend...coughREMYcough...today all ive done was clean the house and shit because my grandma is comming up from florida....so i wanted to say this to remy is u read this...i really am sorry for all the shit that i put u through but u have done the same to me...i really think that we need to talk and straighten things out...i hope we can still be friends....well theres nothing else really to say other than ITS CHRISTMAS BREAK! no school for a long long time mother fucker! |
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| confused |
[Dec. 19th, 2003|01:42 pm] |
hey alright well i know i havent written in a while but my bf told me to dl this song and i dont know how to take it....so u tell me...here they are>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> a glance to my eyes, deep within reveals
this worn-out warrior's mind
i'm killing you by suffering
discomposure of a deepest kind
in the night i crave to feel your breath
and your touch like angel of death
in the dawn i'm in chains of beastial rage
and forced to make you dead
the chains get tighter around my throat
i can give you no love, only dead-lift of pain
in the dusk of evening i tuck you up with feather
forever i'll stand by your side
in the twilight of night i'm laughing
while cutting you hundred and thirteen times
can't you see i am evil, double-edged razor
child of eternal hate.
to torment you like a motherfuckin-whore
i'll make you cry forever more
i'd crawl through broken glass to you...
and your name is written in my very flesh
with the knife i'm still longing to use
in the night i crave to feel your breath
and your touch like angel of death
in the dawni'm in chains of bestial rage
and forced to make you dead
>>>>>tell me what you think.....Tricia |
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| the beginning |
[Dec. 14th, 2003|06:27 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  angry | ] |
| [ | music |
| | cradle of filth, rise against... | ] |
alright well to start off with my name is tricia im 15 years old and i go to lakepark. i have a boyfriend named brad that is not so nice...and yet i stay with him because..well truthfully i dont know... he just does some shitty things yet...feelings dont go away...i have alot of great friends that keep me happy and upbeat. its wat i live for, well that and music. i listen to alot of hardcore music...such as the killing tree and rise against...and then i listen to cradle of filth. theres really not much to me...im outgoing and im really fun to be around if u get to know me....well thats all for right now bc i dont want to go into to much detail on just the first journal..see ya later..Tricia |
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